The 4-Minute Nurture Diet

I’m riding the spin bike, alone, at the gym, in the spin room, and this song comes on my ipod. And it happens. Again. I get choked up, fighting tears. And I feel the need to share this song with you, not to make you cry, but because of its value. Ok, I’ll say no more. First listen, give yourself the 4 minutes. Here’s the link. Then read the lyrics below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UTC2u23Buw

Lyrics by Noa

Stop.

It’s 3:15

You have one minute.

Are you ready? 

Now think of all things created

Think of those that you care for

Think of what you've been blessed with

And everything that makes you afraid

Wish for anything

Let yourself dream

Wish for things to get better

Until 3:16

There's a stone in my garden that keeps me committed

And close to the ground when I feel I should run

There's a branch in my window that helps me remember

To reach out my arms and touch the sun..

There are two million ants that live in my sidewalk

Working together to nurture and feed

And the old TV set, with the sad evening news

So I never forget how much love we need

Home-made religion

(In my kitchen)

Home-made religion..

Think of how you've been feeling

And how you've made others feel

Think of what you've been given

And what you need to heal

Wish for anything..

Try to keep still

Wish for things to get better

And maybe they will

There’s a plant in the corner that helps me remember

All of the beauty that grows from a seed

And the old TV set, with the sad evening news

So I never forget how much love we need

Home-made religion

(In my kitchen)

Home-made religion..

Stop.

It’s hard for me to clarify just why this song make such an impression on me. In just 4 minutes it says so much about how we can shift our perspective, which I think can be enormously helpful for any of us struggling—with eating issues and disorders, with losses, with chronic diseases. Directing us to take a moment, one minute literally, to ask for what we need. How often do we even give ourselves that? The time and space to think about our own needs? And concerns? To acknowledge our fears, instead of burying them with food? To confront our challenges, yet to remind ourselves of the positives around us?

I often direct my patients to start this ritual. Before bed, perhaps while brushing your teeth, identify 2 or 3 positives, things you truly feel good about. Simple, no? And yet most of us go through our days without ever acknowledging these things. 


We are skilled at identifying our failings, where we fell short. Someone will come into my office and I’ll ask about her week and she’ll tell me in great detail how badly Saturday night went, regarding her eating. “And the rest of the week?” I’ll inquire. “Oh, I did fine, really well, in fact” But had I not asked, I would only hear her skewed perspective about her shortcomings, about Saturday’s slips.

As to why this hits such an emotional spot for me? I think she really gets it. Noa, the singer, that is. And it speaks to what I do unknowingly, what keeps me focused and grounded. We all live with uncertainty, never knowing what tomorrow will bring. But some of us are more aware of that than others.

One year ago, Michael came to see me, newly diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, in poor control. The most lovely guy, and highly driven, within weeks his sugars were in great control. But on October 29, 2009 our last visit, he told me that the previous week he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Just yesterday, one year later, I spoke with him, now weak and limited to his bed. Feeling sorry for himself? Not a bit. He shared the value of our working together and told me proudly that he has continued to keep his blood sugars in good control! Imagine that perspective.

As for me, I am more fortunate. Diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS) 8 years ago I lead a normal life biking, hiking, enjoying good food. I am always aware that I can’t control the future. But I could do my part to control my outlook. And I take Noa’s words to heart, and think about what I have, what I need, and how to get it. Because we never know what tomorrow will bring.

How have you shifted your perspective and looked at things differently, to improve things? Has it improved your relationship with food? Have you been able to focus on your achievements, or is that an area you continue to work on? Please share your stories! Looking forward to hearing from you.