32 Candles

Here's something nobody tells you when you hit your 30's: friendships fade. And they fade fast.

If you would have asked me five years ago what I'd be doing as I approached my 32nd birthday, I'd probably describe some elaborate party, complete with tiaras, balloons and cupcakes galore. I'd have meticulously plotted my outfit, and probably have two back ups in place should my mood, or the weather, change. Stilettos would be involved, the higher the better. Every last detail would be planned out, I'd be obsessively talking to my girlfriends about how excited we all were for the upcoming soiree. The next mornings, photos would flood every social media outlet as phone calls flew back and forth between the girls over morning coffee. Hilarious recaps would fill our morning, and we'd talk about how we couldn't wait to do it again.

Yet here I sit, turning 32, and all I'm interested in is a quiet, wine-filled dinner with my husband and possibly a day without work, school or the monotony of the day that seems to creep in so obnoxiously - phone calls, emails, bills. I just want a day to feel at peace.

I've been feeling a bit off lately when it comes to navigating the world of female friendships, and my birthday is what has really shed light on it. Things change as we grow and take our new places on the stage of life. Things are different. We're all moving in various directions; some with husbands, some with babies, some with exciting careers and others with none of that. I find that I've stayed close with a few girlfriends despite whatever life has thrown our way. We make time to talk and see each other because we genuinely want to. But for the others, it's almost as if there is an unspoken feeling that things are not that same...and it's alright.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. The same way I'm not really sure where I'm going with these friendships. I guess time will tell. Maybe we don't need a tribe of friends as we get older. Maybe we just need to few solid ones to have our back and be there for us when it counts most.