Why I'm Not Pre-Med: Part One

Wow, I can’t believe I’m actually going to write this post.

But I ask y’all want you want to read about, and what would be the point if I’m then like ‘um, no. So not writing about that – that’s personal’? I’d be a total hypocrite. So here goes: at Cindy’s request, here’s why I’m not pre-med anymore.

No, no, I know y'all aren't judging. :P

And oh, did anyone miss that announcement?

Yeah, I’m not pre-med anymore. I’d chalk it up to three main reasons. The first is a serious case of career envy. The second is a desire to do something. That sounds weird, but I’ll explain (eventually). And the third is the toughest for me to write about, so I’ll start there.

This is really kind of touchy and seriously embarrassing to admit, but I have to admit it. After all, what’s the point of an ‘honest’ post that doesn’t provide the whole picture? 

If I’m going to do something, I’m going to commit and so I’m committing to this point and admitting it – the ugly, icky truth is that medicine promised a pretty enticing monetary incentive.

 Here’s a little back story: I’m a first generation immigrant and my family has always been struggling, to some extent, since we came here. My dad was employed as a university professor for a while and earned a pretty decent salary, but we were still paying off the loans (moving continents is expensive!), the cars, and the house. 

Then the economic crisis struck and he lost his job. I was in eighth grade when he lost his job and he remained unemployed until my freshman fall of college, when he finally found employment – as a public high school science teacher. My mom had always been a stay at home mom, (doing a great job of) raising us, but that meant that she didn’t have much work experience and couldn’t find a decent job, either. 

My dad kept applying to universities, of course, but they were all cutting their own faculties down, so they were all like

My parents got part time jobs sometimes (I remember how thrilled we all were when my dad got a typical teenager’s part-time seasonal job as a sales clerk at Target over Christmas one year – it was the first pay check, even if meager, that we had seen in a while).

Anyway, for the entire duration of my high school career, both of my parents were largely unemployed and finances were the hugest stress ever in our household. 

I don’t need to go into the details of the harassing debt collection phone calls that kept the phone ringing off the hook at all hours of the day and night, the annoyance of having the television, internet, phone, and lights disconnected/shut off one at a time, the torture of living in North Carolina during the summer when you can’t afford to turn on the air conditioning, the stress of having your parents fight over money to buy milk or vegetables, or what it feels like when a fast food meal at Subway or McDonald’s in an almost unheard-of luxury. We didn’t go out much, because we couldn’t afford the gas to put in the cars. 

We were behind on payments on everything – my sister picked me up from work (I got a summer job at an ice cream shop – and with that, I was the ‘highest earner’ in the family : sad) and the police stopped us because our license plate, and car insurance, were expired. We didn’t have health care, we didn’t go to the dentist, life was rough.

And I really don’t think I even need to say how terrifying it is when your home, in which you grew up in (and the only thing that keeps a roof over your head!) is under threat of foreclosure.

Court orders and all.

It didn’t really make it easier that I was attending a northeastern boarding school (that I ADORE) on a full scholarship and that everyone else had so much. You try to fit in, but it’s just like

 

They went shopping at Juicy Couture and Lacoste, I couldn’t afford the dollar aisle at Target. They ordered pizza on the weekends, I couldn’t afford to participate. They went on exotic vacations, I went to work to earn money to help buy groceriesfor the family.

And so I hope you don’t look down on me too much, or judge me too harshly, for the fact that I couldn’t ignore how financially secure medical professions are. I’d been saying I wanted to be a doctor since I was young, because I liked helping people and I was good at school, but now it just really made sense. 

I could help people, use my talents, do interesting things, make my parents proud, and never have to worry about unemployment or struggling to put food on the table. I could provide for my family and be a good daughter. I could give my parents what they couldn’t give me, for all their love and good intentions.

But that’s not right. That’s not reason enough to go into a profession for your whole life.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I don’t think medicine is interesting. It’s not like I don’t want to help people. But I’m just not passionate about it the way that I am about other things. I don’t wake up in the morning excited to go to anatomy class and learn about body parts. I don’t get shivers of joy up and down my spine when I think about working in a hospital someday. I don’t know, 100% without a doubt, that I would love being a doctor. 

Could I make myself like it? Maybe. 

But that’s not good enough.

The truth is, the people who make the biggest impact and do the most good, the people who are the most successful, are the people who threw caution to the wind and did what they loved – even if it didn’t always have a fixed career path to follow, or if people looked at them funny, or if their parents groaned and started praying whenever they announced what classes they were taking that semester.

Being at Harvard has given me the opportunity to meet, and speak with, a number of astonishingly successful individuals and they’re successful because they did what they loved. 

There’s a woman (hugely successful now) who was “supposed” to be a lawyer but liked baking more – so she started food companies that are now international. The same goes for PR, babysitting, etc. You just have to listen to your gut and follow your heart. Then you'll have what it takes to be that one knock-out who really stands out.

Whew, that was a doozy of a post! MAAAAD LONG.

For those of you who stuck with me through it, thanks! For those of you who didn’t, no worries – I don’t blame you at all. It was pretty epic-ly wordy for an LLE post.

Since this is already so long, I’m going to stop here for today. But if you want me to explain the other two (career envy and the desire to do something) let me know and I’ll post about them, too.

ONE MORE QUICK THING, though : I just loved all of my other classes so much, but felt this way 

 about my pre-med classes (orgo, life sciences, bio, chem, physics, etc.). If that's how you feel, then honey - reevaluate. 

I hope the GIFs made this heavy post a little lighter and more fun!

Are you pre-med? Why?

What was the roughest time in your childhood?

What are you REALLY passionate about?