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Thursday, July 5, 2012

Elsbett & Robin Take On A-Nasty-Sia

In light of my recent de-anonymification of the blog, I thought I'd share something with you that I've wanted to for a while. You don't, by any means, have to read it (not that you have to read anything that I write) but it would be nice if you did.

Anyway, before I change my mind or blush myself to death (why do I feel so shy when I'm safely hidden behind my computer screen?) here are the first one and a half chapters of my middle-grade novel, Elsbett & Robin Take On A-Nasty-Sia.



Chapter Zero



“What did you get?” 
“Well...it was a really slow day and—” 
“I said, what did you get?” 
“I mean, I tried, I really did. But there were—ah-choo!—coppers everywhere and I didn’t want to—” The man, a sickly-looking fellow in his early twenties with an oversized red nose and undersized watery eyes, holds up a handful of coins and crumpled one dollar bills.

“You’re worthless, do you know that? I work all day, stealing to make ends meet and pay our rent and that’s it? We can’t even pay for all the tissues you use with that! You little—” The tall, pointy woman slaps the change out of the man’s hand, sending coins flying through the air.

“—but Anastasia, sweetie” whimpers the man.
“Don’t you ‘Anastasia, sweetie’ me, Martin—” starts Anastasia as she takes a series of menacing towards where Martin cowers on the thoroughly worn, heavily stained sofa.

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK.

Martin stops mid-whimper and Anastasia stops mid-glower as the loud sound clangs throughout the apartment. They look at each other, then jump up and run, Martin sneezing and Anastasia frowning, down the hall of their cramped studio apartment.

“Did you—?” asks Anastasia.
“No, but how—?” asks Martin.

The two stare in wonder at the washing machine. To be quite frank, it is a very ordinary washing machine—plain white and not particularly new. One might wonder why the two are so startled to see it. Are they so dimwitted that they can be amazed by something as simple as an ordinary household appliance?

While such might be the case for Martin, whose sinus issues seem to far outweigh his IQ, the reason is more likely that the washing machine, which now occupies the formerly empty spot at the end of their short corridor, had not been there only a few moments before. And, at least in Boston, washing machines do not ordinarily just appear in hallways.
Anastasia opens the lid of the washing machine and looks in.

“How peculiar...” she murmurs. She leans forward, peering down into the belly of the machine.
“Be careful—” begins Martin. But his warning comes too late. As Anastasia leans into the machine, a strong wind picks up— indoors!—and knocks Anastasia in. With a loud WHOOSH, Anastasia is gone.

“What the heck—” says Martin. He looks in after Anastasia and, just as quickly as before, the wind picks up and knocks him in.
“Ah-AH-AH-CHOO!” And with that one last sneeze echoing through the now-empty apartment, Anastasia and Martin are both gone.


Chapter One

There is an old stone castle that perches, rather precariously, on the very tip-top of a steep hill in a strange land where things are often not as they seem. It is a finicky old castle with a temperamental moat, but that is no wonder as moats tend to like protecting things and this particular moat has not had the opportunity to fend off a visitor in a long, long time. That is because below the moat, wrapped around the foot of the hill like a tea-cozy around a mug, lies an enchanted forest. And almost everyone in that land knows better than to enter an enchanted forest—anything might happen.

In that castle, on the top of that hill, lives a ragtag group. There lives a jolly old Professor Spindle, short and round with no hair on his head but plenty on his chin. Professor Spindle lives with his brainy ten-year-old nephew Robin, and a nine-, almost ten-, year-old girl with straw-like red hair and a face full of freckles. Her name is Elsbett and she moved in when Professor Spindle found her sleeping amongst the potatoes in the garden, just over nine years ago. The three of them lived alone, content as a happy, familial trio, since that day those many years ago. That is, until just over three weeks ago. Just over three weeks ago, the three found themselves with two new members in their household: a housekeeper of poor constitution, Martin, who slouches around the castle with an ever-dripping nose and an omnipresent sneeze, and a household manager, Anastasia, with a permanently ill temperament.

Some say change is good. And, sometimes, it really is. But that change, dear reader, was not so good. No, that change is what started all the trouble—that change is what sent the happy trio’s perfect little world careening far, far off of its axis.

But here I go again, getting ahead of myself. Let’s start at the beginning—but when was that? Oh well, we’ll just jump right in, then.


Thanks for reading!

Assuming that you read that of course. Anyway, if you're still here and you would like to read more, you can get a copy of the book here or here.

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